3.31.2013

It's okay to get laid on Easter.

If I told you I knew a guy that died, his body was locked in a stone mausoleum, and a few days later he rose from the dead and escaped the stone vault you'd tell me I was crazy.  Unless, of course, we're at church, and then you'd say you know him too.

The story of the resurrection of christ is definitely baffling. I mean, I'm a logical thinker and this just ain't logical. What is logical? Someone had too much blood wine and wandered into a cave to pass out.

That fact is this "holiday" is just another stolen ritual from the poor Pagans. Those early Christians were not too original...  This also explains where the bunnies and eggs come from as I do not recall their inclusion in my reading of the Old Testament. The best explanation I've found is that Easter refers to the pagan festival of Astarte, also known as 'Ishtar' and pronounced 'Easter'. The festival was held in late around the time of the Passover. Originally, it was a celebration of the earth's regenerating itself after the winter season. It's no secret that the Pagans cared more about feeding the people than murdering them on crosses and such. The festival involved the celebration of fertility and reproduction which is why the common symbols of Easter were the rabbit and (for obvious reasons) the egg. 

So the only true way of celebrating this special day, in Disney's opinion, is to make babies. Hunting for eggs takes on a whole new meaning, right? That's right. Fertilize, or get fertilized, or just practice if you're not quite ready for a lifetime commitment of parenting.  It's okay... it's Easter! 

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