Can I ask you a personal question?

I'm guessing Maxim or Men's Health recently ran an article on how to start a conversation with a hot girl on a dating site and bullet one is:  "Ask if you can ask her a personal question."

Why do I think this? Because in the past four days I have received at least a dozen of these exact messages.

Here's my universal answer: 

No! You don't personally know me so there is no way you could ask me a personal question. Even if I agreed to answer said question, you don't know my person. 

For the record, "Are you looking to make a connection and develop a real relationship or just looking for a casual fling?" is NOT a "personal" question. It's just a question, and a bad one at that. Is, "I just want to get bent over a railing and banged till my brain bleeds," a "personal" answer?

I get it, draw her in by asking her about herself and then she'll think you care about what she thinks, or that she thinks at all. We know your game, guys. We know you just want to get laid and you couldn't care less about our thoughts and dreams.

Truth: I don't care if you think either! If I start to care, well, then you've got the golden ticket. Until then, relax. Stop trying to creep into my head and just tell me I'm pretty.


Size matters.

I've never considered myself to be much of a "size queen." Until today, that is. Men assume women think bigger is better and I've spent years trying to convince them otherwise. Then today, I realized that in some circumstances, too small really can be a deal breaker. 

No, I am not talking about your "equipment." I'm talking about your office supplies. 

This morning I went through another round in the ring with my mini handheld stapler. Who'd-a-thought such a minor piece of office essentials could cause me so much grief! If you've ever tried to staple discovery responses, you know what I mean. If not... You'll just have to take my word for it. I knew there were bigger, better staplers out there, but because I had never had the opportunity to experience one, I didn't realize what I was missing. To my surprise, my suite-mate allowed me access to his 60-page stapler.  That's right - 60 pages! It was euphoric. I've been ruined for all other handheld staplers. 

So, the moral of this story is: maybe bigger IS better? I guess you just have to try it to find out. 

Tomorrow, I'm gonna test the commercial copier. I'm getting chills just thinking about it.