2013 - Get Ready to Rumble

1.) Lose 50 pounds.
2.) Quit smoking.
3.) Quit drinking.
4.) Get out of debt.
5.) Learn something new.


Although the above are popular New Year Resolutions, I'm going to do something a bit different this year. Instead of making a list of resolutions I'll forget about within a week, I am going to make one solid resolution. This one resolution will receive all my New Year energy and, I believe, will help me attain all the other goals I've set for myself.

My New Years Resolution: Think Positive

Okay, okay, hear me out: I do believe positive thinking attracts positive results. I'm not completely in line with the Secret and the law of attraction, but I do think focusing energy on the positive aspects of your life currently, and positive outcomes you'd like to see, will make it easier, if not enjoyable, to work towards those goals. And inevitably conquer those goals.

Focusing on the negative, in any situation, really serves no purpose. Negative energy breeds negative moods, which attract negative people, and the whole situation continues to spiral down. However, focusing on the positive change to a negative situation is much more enjoyable, not to mention productive.

For example, if you knew running three miles this morning would take off ten pounds you would do it. So would I. But it won't... However, running three miles every morning for a month definitely will take off ten pounds. So, instead of thinking, 'Ugh, I have to run today... I hate running.' I'm going to think, 'I'm gonna run today and in one month I'll be bikini ready. Yay!' Geez that sounds nerdy... but you get the point.

The truth is, I'm a generally positive person. I can find the positive in anything. But just because I can, doesn't mean I always do... On the rare occasion my mood gets down, it can get really really down. I can spiral with the best of them. Recently, I've been working very hard to reach a professional goal that has had me feeling utterly defeated. It's a truly awful feeling that has done nothing but bring me down and make it more difficult to accomplish other things - like getting out of bed.   I know this goal is lofty, but I also know it is attainable. It is easy to feel like a failure and drown my sorrows in my comfy bed with my little dog and cry myself to sleep; but where's that going to get me? Certainly not any closer to achievement. I strongly believe that focusing my energy on succeeding, the feeling of accomplishment, and the pride I will have in myself is a far better use of my mental energy.

So get ready 2013 - I'm going to smother you with positive energy and you're going to love me for it. 


Christmas - The Scary Truth

Disclaimer: This is not meant to offend any person, religion, or rapist. Take a xanex with your eggnog and relax. 

For the record, I'm not Christian. My beliefs most resemble Buddhist  philosophy, I guess, but I choose not to claim membership to any organized religious group. Especially the really scary ones. *cough* Catholics *cough* But in an attempt to make my upbringing seem normal my mother forced me to attend a UCC church for many years. That's right, Disney has been to church. That's United Church of Christ for those that are unfamiliar. It's similar to protestant, I believe, another branch under the christian realm. We learned all about Jesus and what not but I was young so we didn't get into the really good stuff. I was baptized as an infant and I attended Sunday School every week. I even completed confirmation, if you can believe it, when I was twelve, and took communion for the first and last time. To be honest the whole "body and blood of Christ" thing really freaked me out. Still does.

Anyway, another interesting fact about my childhood is that my mother had my brothers when I was around ten years old. Because I was highly intelligent, and had an abnormal sexual curiosity, I knew how babies were made and I knew it had nothing to do with placing an order with a local stork. This led to some extreme conflict when the study of Jesus came up.

I understood that Jesus was God's son; that God chose the "virgin" Mary to be his mother. I also understood that Mary was married and wondered how Joseph felt about this whole situation. I had a Jerry Springer conflict in my head.  I had a step-dad at this point so I thought I could relate to the poor Jesus and his nontraditional upbringing. One day, I asked my mom point blank about the affair. She was also my Sunday school teacher. Seriously, Disney's mom was a Sunday school teacher. That's when she explained "immaculate conception" to me for the very first time. I've had nightmares ever since.

See, as a young woman my mother did not hesitate to explain to me the ramifications of intercourse and proper protective measures. I was on birth control before my "first" even knew he had a chance. So the idea that anyone, or any deity for that matter, could just decide to knock me up, doesn't sit well with me. I'm a feminist for goodness sake. I'm a strong supporter of reproductive choice as well. I don't recall any stories about any men having to raise illegitimate children. It just seems so unfair. Although, when it comes to women, nothing in Christianity is very fair. Still, the idea that poor Mary had no control over the situation really burns me up. And the idea that she was a married virgin just makes me laugh. Isn't that why Christians get married? So they can finally do it without having to take a scalding shower of guilt after?

Anyway, it's the idea of this immaculate rape that really pushed me away from Christianity all together. There are, of course, many other reasons, but this is the biggie.

However, I still celebrate Christmas. What? How could you? - Oh, stop. I celebrate the Americanized Christmas. The Santas and the Raindeer and the giving and receiving of presents. Who doesn't love presents? I also celebrate the fact that this one time a year people, for the most part, act a little less selfish, and may even take a moment to appreciate all the loving people in their lives. That's what Christmas means to me. And I have to say, even as I type, it sounds way more pleasant than some poor married woman that never gets laid, getting knocked up by a stranger, and then a parade of people want to fawn over the infant while her poor husband has to stand by and act proud. Joseph sure was a stand-up guy.


There's an "ex" there for a reason...

I used to be one of those girls that "stayed friends" with her exes. I also used to dye my hair jet black, drunk dance at Amateur Night and think Nickleback was "hard rock." Then I grew up.

The fact is that there IS an ex there for a reason. Even if you had one of those storybook endings where you both looked into each other's eyes, said, "I'm not in love with you," then laughed and hugged and skipped off into the night; at one time you had strong feelings for this person and/or they had strong feelings for you. These feelings may have been naive and irrational and you think you could never feel for this person in that way again, but they WERE there. Feelings don't dissapear; feelings change. And they keep changing. This is why the divorce rate is over 50% and happens to be my personal bread 'n butter.

If you had feelings for a person once before, or vice versa, it is entirely possible that one or both of you could rehash these emotions. It is also possible that one of you will reminisce of your time together and want to rekindle the damaged affair. In all honesty, there are a million hypotheticals that could happen and they're all bad.  Unless, of course, you're living out some romantic comedy... and everyone is acting. There is no benefit to remaining friends with someone who was, and is no longer, a staple in your life. Unless your a masochist...

"If you're always looking behind you, you are going to fall down." My mom used to say that to me all the time.  Although, she was being literal 'cause I was a clumsy child.  The point is, if you're still playing in your past you can't give your energy to your future. If the past was really that great, it'd be the present. It's not. It's remarkably easy to remember the best parts of a relationship and completely forget the nights you spent crying yourself to sleep with a black-eye, or whatnot.  But the minute you forget that pain, you set yourself up to relive it.

Remember the first time you touched a hot stove? Yea... you don't do that anymore. Same story.