Everyone pays for sex.

That's right. Everyone.

I heard this on a television show and it really got me thinking. At first it was something like, "Ugh. I've never had to pay for it." Insert judgmental tone. Then... well, then I had to admit that I have paid, and I've paid dearly. So have you. So stop judging. 

Traditionally a man will wine n' dine a lady and eventually she'll give up the goods. There's your standard "payment" on his part.  Traditionally the trusting woman will invite this man into her bed, and there's her payment. That's the more complicated aspect of my statement. For the record, these roles may be reversed and shared and are somewhat interchangeable between the genders, but there is always payment.

I've heard woman say many times that they "have sex like a man." I assume they are not referring to strap-ons although in some cases they just may be.... But I suppose most mean without feeling or emotion. Bullshit.

I do not believe women are capable of having completely emotion-free sexual relations. To be honest, many men can't either. A woman may not necessarily have emotion for the partner, but there's emotion nonetheless. I have two explanations for my theory. One physical, one mental.

It takes trust to let people in.  Most people don't share their deepest darkest secrets with complete strangers. Same goes for a woman's body. Sorry to be graphic, but this is a big girl blog. In sexual activity a woman is quite literally opening up and letting someone inside and she has to trust to do this. (Unfortunately woman frequently trust the wrong men but that's a-whole-nother blog.) There are those woman who don't require the same level of trust, but some trust has to be present. Even if a woman agrees to a "casual" encounter the emotion is there. And after-the-fact it's going to be even more present. She'll try to hide it, because she agreed to "casual" but it's there.

The above is the most common sexually charged emotion. But there are those woman, few I hope, that can have sex with a complete stranger and feel no emotion, what-so-ever, for the partner. They do, however, hold an extreme amount of emotion for themselves. Unfortunately, this is a much more negative scenario. This women generally has some historic experience that has made her feel insecure or undeserving or she's found it so difficult to trust a partner that she compensates by trying to make that trust unnecessary and ultimately creating a psychological wall within herself that she feels cannot be penetrated to keep her "safe." But she's not safe. She's actually far more vulnerable than the women above.

Sex in general is a far more emotional experience for women than men; specifically "casual" sex. A male orgasm is generally physical whereas a female orgasm is mental.  No woman can finish when she's worrying about her shopping list. A man, on the other hand, will forget that shopping list completely. It can wait.

The moral of this story is we all pay. Even if it's not a monetary exchange with a professional an exchange is made. The females's payment may be less obvious, but it's there. So next time you take that PYT out for a romantic evening and she doesn't want to play naked that night, just know that it's going to cost her a lot more than dinner. When she can afford it, she'll play ball.