2.14.2013

V-day the Hypocracy

Saint Valentine is believed to be a Christian martyr who made his name popular by spreading Christianity and marrying soldiers, whom under the the Roman emperor Claudius II were not allowed to marry because he believed it made the soldiers weak. Valentine, on the other hand, believed this to be unjust and met secretly to wed the young (very young back then) lovers. Oh, and he healed a blind girl and left her a note before his execution which closed with, "Your Valentine."

Valentine was executed on February 14, 270AD for refusing to recognize Roman Gods. Since then, this day has been commercialized into the ultimate lover's day in the U.S. and all over the world.

Here's my beef:

The general public, and specifically Christians, celebrate this man for going against the government and performing illegal marriage ceremonies because he believed all were entitled to this sacred union. Yet, in this U.S. anyway, present day Christians consistently fight the government to ensure "all" are most definitely not entitled to this same union.  If you haven't figured it out yet, I'm referring to the gays.

This seems a bit hypocritical to me...

Ultimately this day was initially a day to celebrate "Christian love" and love for Christ, and has no real connection to what it is today.

Present day Valentine's Day can most easily be describes as a day of chocolate, flowers, and pressure, That's right: pressure.

If you're in a relationship you are required to not only recognize this special day, but show an abundance of love and appreciation for your partner, in the form of flowers and chocolate and flowers and more chocolate.

If you're not in a relationship you are required to gush over the love lives of your associates and feel insecure about your lack of partnership.

Fuck that.

I've spent many Valentine's Days in committed relationships and for the most part the day was not much different than the rest. Here's the thing - Disney needs adoration EVERY day. One day a year just isn't enough. Actually, it's borderline insulting to think we need an assigned day to show people how we feel about them  Why not just be adults and express what we want, when we want?

I'll admit it's cute to watch the young ones choosing their "Valentine," but class rules require student bring a valentine for everyone so no one feels left out. I'll never forget my mother forcing me to give a valentine to the boy who, just a few days before, punched me in the stomach. Not to mention, promoting young love in elementary school may not be such a great idea now that middle-schoolers are making babies.

I'm sure this all comes off as a single-girl rant, but the truth is, this is my first single-girl Valentine's Day in a very very long time. I don't feel the least bit of pressure.  I will go about my day as any other, and tonight I get to choose who shall be my Valentine. That's right, I still get to choose my Valentine, as in, it's not predetermined by relationship status.

In the end: Flowers die, chocolate makes you fat, and single girls have the options that the married girls envy.  Yay, Valentine's Day!


2.06.2013

Sex Myths Revealed by Disney

I was sent this link the other day.  It may be spam, but I found it quite interesting nonetheless. Most of these myths I've heard myself and some I've never heard before. Others are just disturbing.

THE TIMES OF INDIA (yes, really)

9 Most Ridiculous Sex Myths Of All Time[!]

#1 Size Matter
 - Yes and no. I don't care much for the biological response in the article so I'll put it like this. Penises are like pie. You want more than a bite, but not the whole pie. I'd say there's a pretty good range of "acceptable" so most men shouldn't worry. But remember - too much is just as bad as not enough. I mean, we're not all porn stars.

#2 Love Food and Aphrodisiacs Will Get You "Tingly" 
- As the author states, I have never been "aroused" by food. There are a variety of things that make me "tingly" but indigestion isn't one of them.

#3 Men Think More About Sex Than Women

- I like to think of this one as God's practical joke. As adolescents, the boys and their raging hormones just want to do it all the time. They tend to lack in... experience, so the girls don't get to see the super fun side of sex. Then, later in life, the female's hormones go rabid but by then the boys have new interests, like football and beer. And now, it's socially frowned upon to have casual sex with strangers, or minors, so the poor girls have to take matters into their own hands (pun); or they just start a blog.

#4 The Withdrawal Method Won't Get You Knocked Up

- Are there still people, that are not cast on 16 and Pregnant, that still believe this? I don't even trust a man to remember to put the seat down much less to remember to move during, arguably, the highlight his day.

#5 Women Don't Like Porn 

- Well that's a blatant lie.

#6 You Won't Get Pregnant If You have Sex While Menstruating

- You'll just get dirty... Lets all take a moment to remember lil spermies are super tough guys. Some survive in labs for months and months, so it's reasonable to believe they can wait out a couple days.

#7 An Orgasm For Women Is Supposed To Be Earth Shattering 

- Wait... this is NOT true? Wow. I'll keep my world "rockin'" thank-you-very-much. Having an orgasm without even knowing sounds like a horrible way to live.

#8 Every Woman Has A G Spot

- I have to agree with article in that hunting for steak when you have chicken on the table seems silly. Just eat, for goodness sake.

#9 If She Doesn't Make Pleasure Noises, She's Not Enjoying It

- "Some women are vocal and some women are not." True. But if she gives you the, "What-the-fuck-are-you-doing" look, maybe you should ask what she likes.  Listen for "pleasure noises" but listen for pain too. And ladies - don't be afraid to lead the way. This is probably the only time a man is ready and willing to ask for directions.